Sung by

FRIEDA: Oh, great search eagle. Where can we find the New Moose?
Eaglebot [slyly]: “You will find the New Moose on Safe Island.
MOOSE: I have my doubts, but he can search for anything. Hop on!
NARRATOR: As they journey back to Safe island, on the Moose’s back, a debate arises among the group. There are Optimists and Pessimists about the open Internet.

[optimists]
Globality! Globality! Whatever could go wrong?
Global connectivity
Makes us that many times more strong

[pessimistic chorus spoken]
WAIT
The Net holds every creature known to Dog UH-OH!
Not everyone will put your interests first. WHY NOT?!
You could face a future in some gulag. GOO? EWWW!
Or lose your reputation — or even worse! DO YOU MEAN…?
Globality! Globality! It’s dangerous online BOOGA BOOGA
Globality, Globality to that we won’t resign UH-UH

[optimists spoken]
HEY, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY
The diversity of online life is thrilling. I’M THRILLED!
So many different folks with different lives. VIVA LA!
It’s clear you won’t find all of them fulfilling THAT’S OK
But you could find good teachers, lovers, even wives! DO IT! AND HUSBANDS!
Globality! Globality! whatever could go wrong! ONWARD!
Give us net neutrality and we’ll plunge right in headlong. FEET FIRST FOR ME

[pessimists]
ON SECOND THOUGHT…
They call it Safety Island for good reason. UH-HUH!
The Friendly Pigs make rules that keep us safe. THANK YOU, PIGGIES
On the Net folks do damn well what they please ‘n
Cheat ‘n steal n’ lie right to your face. BAD PLACE!
Globality! Globality! It’s such a sham reality. SHAM ON YOU!
Globality, a fact we need not heed. SO THERE!

[optimists]
ON THIRD THOUGHT
How wonderful to join a different rule set. YES!
You may find one you like much more. YOU WILL!
Let’s go and find those you have not met yet GO FOR IT!
So exciting, really, to explore. EXPLORE!
Globality! Globality! it’s never been like this before. NEVER !
Globality! Globality! the future’s an open door! HELLOOOO! STEP RIGHT THROUGH

Music by Mario Tosto; Lyrics by Mario Tosto & David Johnson